More like standing on stilts because you certainly won’t be walking very far in these. If there’s one thing everyone can agree on when it comes to Jeffrey Campbell shoes, it’s that they always spark conversation. The cutouts (on both the upper and on the heels) definitely play a part in that convo, but in this case, I’m more concerned with “chunky” size. The Eggert heels are 6.5 inches and made from wood! Not exactly the most strut-friendly material, even for trained professionals (of either the model or circus variety). And that’s not even the weirdest part. The way you strap yourself into these? Velcro. Yep, your inner 5-year-old is pretty excited about that. The good news is that they’re on sale, so if you do feel like seeing what life is like more than half a foot up, the investment is minimal. Available on Ssense for $178 (from $255).