Snob Essentials

5 Ways to Keep that SPARK Alive in Your Relationship

5 Ways to Keep that SPARK Alive in Your Relationship

We all know good, healthy relationships take work, but they should also have some fun and lightness to them says life coach Natasha Silver Bell. Otherwise, what’s the point of being in a relationship?! Having a great romantic moment or a hearty laugh with your significant other is crucial for the relationship and for yourself. Bell believes it’s important not to be afraid to try things or change things up. Here are a few of her suggestions if you need some assistance getting that spark sparkling…

1) How much time are you spending with your significant other? In case you’ve never heard it before, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and is of high value to a strong relationship. Whether you see him or her every day, every other day, or even twice a week, try taking a break. One week or even two if you can.

2) Digital take down! Take the digital components out of sight from 5 p.m. until the next morning. It’s hard, but it’s also almost impossible to be totally present with someone when you’re checking your phone or the TV. Bring in your awareness of what is happening in your home with your partner.

3) For the women reading this, take care of your body. When you feel sexy, it creates an aura. Your man can feel your energy when you have taken care of yourself; you can use moisturizers, wax, thread, color, cut, or body spray that drives him crazy. Use all your power within the five senses. Wear clothes that you feel good in and you know he likes. Something I do in my home every day is light a candle. It creates an aura of light and peace, and shows thought. Guys, the same applies to you here. A woman loves a clean, thoughtful and appropriately attired man. In other words, don’t be a slob.

4) Do something extra for your special someone. This is also known as random acts of kindness. If your partner has been saying, “I need to do this,” or “I wish I had time to get this done,” then this is a great way to get their attention in the most meaningful way. Showing up with what they need, or have wanted or accomplishing something you know they needed help with, without asking or them knowing, is the best stimulant for a relationship. It also demonstrates through action that you love him or her, and care about what they care about. Your actions speak as loudly as your words.

5) Learn to listen and listen to learn. What does that mean? The more you practice listening to what your partner is saying the better you become at learning who your partner is. Try studying your partner for a week. Imagine if they were a homework assignment. Nothing’s sexier than knowing someone cares enough about you to really spend time getting to know you.

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6 comments

  1. Absolutely great advice!! However, 1 or 2 weeks apart? I guess this is advice to married couples, too? I don’t think I could go that long without seeing my husband, but a few days would sometimes be nice! 🙂

    1. Thanks Naomi, you are right when married, it is harder to create space. Finding simple ways to pull back the amount of time spent with your partner is a sure way to curate more of a longing for one another. Sometimes it is as simple as not rushing back so quickly from work or taking that extra 30min at the gym. Of course we don’t want to create an issue where there is none, but I think you know what I mean.

  2. Number three is a little much. I think it’s sexist against women. With every media channel out there bombarding us with messages of being thinner, prettier, more sexy…do you really thing we need another person telling us to take extra steps to attract a mate? I don’t think so. Next time, keep it gender neutral please. It’s 2015. Thanks.

  3. I think your #3 holds legitimacy for this century as it has in the past. It isn’t necessarily about being skinny or looking prettier but more about creating that “aura” that your partner will be drawn to. That can be achieved in so many ways. Men are stimulated by the senses and we would be smart women to recognize that