Snob Essentials

Teeth Whitening is All I Can Muster for Vanity

I will never be skinny again. That ship has sailed. And honestly, at my age, fat is the scaffolding that’s holding up my face and filling in where the wrinkles would be. I’m just not willing to suffer for vanity the way I used to, there are things like eating that I now consider basic human rights that I’m just not willing to forgo for a mid-drift that would look stupid on me anyway. Another suffering I no longer can endure is pain, thus my “closet of unworn shoes” and teeth whitening. But don’t get me wrong, girl still has standards – I’m not actually as decrepit as I’m making myself sound right now, other than having to wear flats most of the time, I don’t let everything go; I keep a handle on the wrinkles, my hair is still my super power and I need my teeth to look as fresh as my Botox. But back up to the teeth whitening, what I can’t deal with is the laser light thing that prevents me from eating anything hot, drinking anything cold or breathing with my mouth open. Supposedly, they have new technology that do not cause sensitivity but they are lying!!! I had to be mute and hangry, drinking lukewarm coffee for weeks!!! Ain’t nobody gonna fool me 3 times. So when I was told of theĀ Luster Premium Instant White toothpaste, I was like, “I already brush my teeth and 2 birds with 1 stone is basically my life motto, so YES!”.

The toothpaste is blue, like very very electric blue. It’s the blue tinge that makes your teeth look instantly white because blue offsets yellow and gives the optical illusion of whiter teeth. There’s also something in it that removes surface stains. So this isn’t truly a teeth whitener but it’s a pain free cheat that still does what you want – whiter looking teeth. I have the Philips Sonicare Diamond Clean toothbrush – it was the BEST Christmas gift ever!! If you don’t have it yet, you’re missing out on the daily spa for your mouth! There is a whitening mode and comes with a special whitening brush head. So when using both of these, I have seen a major difference. I also sometimes add active charcoal to the toothpaste to get an extra dose of stain removal. I’ve been doing this for 2 months and my teeth are visibly whiter, it is most obvious in pictures (which, in this business is all that matters I suppose). I wouldn’t say there is a big difference after just one brushing but over time it is definitely effective. I know 2 months sounds like a long time, but think about it this way, doing nothing at all produces even slower results. And it’s only $8.99 so why not?

[The product was sent to me for free for the purpose of this review but I do not shill for free products, besides, this is $8.99. I’m not the kind of girl who will be told what to do for under 10 bucks.]

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