We love the Anya Hindmarch and Moschino bags with fun characters, and we really love the Fendi monsters, but the line has been crossed. You can only take this cute-bag stuff so far. Pushing the envelope ever so much fills you with feelings of whimsical joy. But watch out: simply disregarding the line and how far you take it will result in some serious eye-rolling. These five bags threaten to roll my eyes right of their sockets:
1. Dolce & Gabbana Dolce Box Embroidered Grosgrain Bag: I can’t tell if I’m pissed because they didn’t pick my kid’s drawing for this or because Domenico and Stefano aren’t exactly all about babies. Looks like this pair have a fair-weather affinity for children. On Luisa via Roma for $2,995.
2. Olympia Le-Tan Dalmatians Embroidered Felt Drum Bag: I love this Disney movie, and who doesn’t love dalmatians? But I wouldn’t want my kids’ faces on my bag, so why would I want this? On Farfetch for $936.
3. MSGM Star & Heart Patchwork Backpack: It takes a lot for a bag to be both cutesy and crass, but this explosion is just that: a lot. Too much color, fringe, and patchwork accents add up to three wrongs that don’t make a right. On Luisa via Roma for $880.
4. MCM The Robot Perspex Shoulder Bag: Dancing the Robot is a questionable choice, and – no surprise – so is carrying one. This bag would look best on a shelf in a sci-fi nerd’s house. On Luisa via Roma for $1,295.
5. Moschino Plush Teddy Bear Backpack: I seriously just bought a kangaroo version of this bag in Australia for my niece. Let’s just pause to let this really sink in. It’s made for an adult and costs $1,750. On Luisa via Roma for $1,750.